i just wanted you to hold me
so tight my bones broke,
but the force cracked my heart
midnights always last longer than they should.i spend sleepless nights in my room
staring at your picture on my mirror
and wondering why on earth someone as beautiful as you
would ever love someone like me,
but then i remember
meadows.you only ever picked dead flowers
because you wanted to leave the living ones
for others to admire...
i guess that's why you chose me
over everyone else.
where do you fall when you fall in love?i see my voice curl toward the sky in crystal breaths
as i stand beneath the stars and ask the gods
"where do you fall when you fall in love?"
and in the distant thunder roars as zeus clears his throat.
lightening strikes to start a fire
and in anticipation i sit by the flames as he begins his story.
"love," he says, "is the beautiful medication
that we drink to still our pain,
but often it is overdosed
and we always end up crashing
like a star falling from my sky."
as i watch the shadows dance about his face
aphrodite proudly walks to us
with her golden grace and emerald eyes.
"there's a kingdom," she says with ivory verse, "just below the sea
and it awaits young lovers there
where they drown for all eternity."
at the mention of the sea, poseidon falls down to us
from his chariot atop the cliff and in his booming voice he declares;
"and in that cavern the butterflies are drenched
and with heavy wings they cannot fly
so they suffocate the lovers."
with the quietest gait of a clumsy fox
there's rain on the window.hands like yours could choke the sea
and paint clouds in the sky.
hands like yours could tousle the hair of god,
but you'd rather touch my face
you're so blind.here i am drowning
and you have no idea what to do,
you're so lost
why don't you take your hands
off my shoulders?
the lace curtains drowned in the rain.you told me i wasn't allowed
to write poems about you anymore.
but it's like when my doctor tells my hands
not to shake;
i can't control it.
rain.i still have buckets in my room
from when you poured your heart out.
plastic pails full of pain and love
and lust and tears and names and smiles.
i don't know why i keep them...
maybe i hope one day you'll come back
to claim them.
or when i'm being really dumb
i let myself hope that you'll come back anyway
the willows no longer weep for us, isn't that sad?hospital walls
aren't very thick
and so every night i could hear you sleeping
soundly in the room next to mine.
i wasn't trying to kill myself,
not that time,
i just wanted to make myself fall asleep
so i could find you in our dreams.
archival.i was reading an old weather book today,
and did you know in 1976 they named a hurricane after you?
that's funny, because i never imagined you had the experience.
you're so hesitant;
i thought destruction was new to you.
beautiful.i want her
like the atlantic needs a storm,
but she's causing hurricanes
to flutter in some other boy's
i choked on dandelion dust clotted to my wrists.i remember years ago,
back when i was six-years-old,
my mother called a plumber
and cursed in her sunday best
when the line went dead.
i couldn't see past the counter,
so i laid face-first against the floor
and waited for the pipes to unclog
so my parents could recommence
pouring my childhood
down the drain.
you left your roses in my throat.i'm convinced there was a god
at least once
not because of some neck-tied preacher
or pamphlets left on my doorstep
but because there was poetry written in the lines of your lips
and, though you were so many things,
a poet wasn't one, love
so if you didn't write those words
then who did?
i wanted to,
but it wasn't me
i don't think you would have let me anyway
you never liked my poetry very much
because it was sad
and sad reminded you of your mother
and that made you sad
so we'd be sad together
and you didn't think that was a good basis for a relationship
but we weren't a relationship
we were just two ghosts
trying to haunt each other
and that never works out.
its 8 pm, and i'm just trying to forget."hey, your shoe's untied"
shouldn't be romantic, and it shouldn't make my heart flutter
as i lie here in my bed and imagine that the lines in my ceiling
are the perfect blue veins
coursing beneath the flawless ivory flesh of your careful hands,
that never shake like mine.
but those four simple words you said one day across the halls,
before we ever really met,
were the nicest thing you ever told me,
because it showed how much you cared,
but i guess that was back then.
"i love you"
should be romantic, and it shouldn't make my heart shatter
when i look at the polaroids taped to my wall,
and think about how much brighter your eyes always seemed at night
when we danced beside the waves.
but you spoke those words as you stood by the door
with a question mark hovering in the air;
the air that choked me when you walked away.
"i'm sorry" still lives deep within my walls,
and reverberates every time i scream your name.
unrealistic ideologies of an
are toxic; breathing
is a chore. there is
a careful warmth in the
combined effort of
we are the forgotten.
we are the tangled limbs
and childhood stories for
a more sensitive future; we
are the longing, we are
we are measured
in the people we touch;
and I will love you
in the UV light of
hide and seek paranoia.
I love you in the red shimmer
of harbored dreams, I love you
in the industrial gl
Listenin another world
i don’t exist
but you do
and i pray
you miss me
as much as
i miss you
so that one day
and i might
feel your breath
on my skin
(i dream of pathetic miracles)
writers filter out their lungs with lighter fluida briny blackthorn boy, i
am rotting, reinfected -
a skeleton's blooming from
underneath my skin; she's
between my collar bones,
she's inside my jaw, she -
she is vile, the way all necromancers are
(but god, am i envious).
Its Coming.I saw it coming;
But I did not have control.
I saw it coming;
I saw it unfold.
But I stayed there and smiled;
For when I choose..
I shall leave the Earth happy;
For I have nothing to loose.
I saw it coming;
And it saw me too.
I saw it coming;
It was like catching the flu.
But I let it dissolve me;
From head to toe.
I let it dissolve me;
In the hole of my home.
I saw it coming;
But I kept it a secret.
I saw it coming;
It tasted like chocolate.
So I let it possess me;
Because what could I do?
I let it possess me,
The Depression got through.
you tasted like mintI remember the way you stared into my eyes
in the front seat of your car.
Our favorite song was playing on the radio
and you were driving me home in the rain
because I didn't have anyone else who could give me a ride.
You parked your car in my drive way
and we watched the rain drops race down the windshield.
You had kissed me goodbye before I got out
and I waved as you drove away.
And for a while, it seemed like I couldn't get the taste
of your minty lips out of my mouth.
Foolish Enough To Be LovedI'd dig into my wounds
just to make you stay,
cough up my self-inflicting wishes
to have your arms locked around me forever,
because your departures poison my thoughts.
I want to claw my eyes out,
disease my lips &
rip off my ears,
because your existence
will be the death
of me if i ever see