i'm probably better off without it.in an effort to replacethe one you lost,you tore the heartfrom my sleeveand trapped it inyour chest.
X.your lovewas like the pills,they were bothsupposed to heal me.imagine the surpriseas they raceto determine which onekilled me.
to say i'm sorry is so cliche.and on your flawless face,in the hollows of your cheeks,i poured my every secretin the form of silver tears.
what words cannot describe.they say a pictureis worth a thousand words,but when i see your facetime-zones awaya million praisesrush to my lips.and yet when you're standingright before mewith those pale eyes glowingmy throat is lockedand i am speechless,because "beautiful"is so vaguecompared to you.
cigarette boxes.you were once my addiction,the force i would so gladlydie from.then they took you away,to the hospital,and now you've changed.your eyes are distantyour voice is empty,there's nothing leftto breathe in.
hushed.i'd tell you allthat's wrong,but I'm scared you'ddrown.
i hope you remember to bring the flowers.the stars whispered lateone nightas we lay beneath theirgrandeur."what if i die today?" you asked.and i told you in that case,i'd see you by tomorrow.
rain.i still have buckets in my roomfrom when you poured your heart out.plastic pails full of pain and loveand lust and tears and names and smiles.i don't know why i keep them...maybe i hope one day you'll come backto claim them.or when i'm being really dumbi let myself hope that you'll come back anywayfor me.
epitaphs don't count as love letters.he said my eyesgasped like a dying breathand he wasn't going to wait aroundfor the funeral.
strong, held the seashorelet yourworld crumbleand then collectevery grain of sandto buildnew castles
meadows.you only ever picked dead flowersbecause you wanted to leave the living onesfor others to admire...i guess that's why you chose meover everyone else.
Flawed Canvas.Your lipsleft watercolorstainsall across my heart.My blood isn't evencrimson anymore,its a pale and dyinglilacthat bleeds onto the floorand paints a pictureof you.
i feel like this can't be titled.i filled my veinswith that rain that smells like you.vacate my lungsand put the oxygen back,i'm tired of drowningin your watercolor paints.my lips suffocate beneath yours,but that's okayi never liked mineanyway.my hand feels emptywithout yours;my heart feels distantwith yours.i don't know what you mean,not anymore,not even when you speak.i'm sorry you never got the chanceto hurt me,because i always hurt myself,but if you come backyou'll have another chance.is this the partwhere you say you're sorry,even if you aren't?
june 1st: an anniversaryweary nights whisper bitterlythe dying echoes of an ambulance's cry,phones buzzing and hospital lights,memories that i don't want...this day that shouldn't be.i kept each tearyour heavenly eyes shedand compiled them togetherinto an ocean;i'm ready to drown.the breaths we sharedand the oxygen you poured into my lungsi used to fashion this summer breezethat tear daisies apart;maybe it'll break me like the petals.there are freckles on my arms,trailblazers of your fingertips,touches long left feltand now with vacant longing;can a broken heart kill me?there's a hollow space in my bedan impression shaped like you're bodyand without you heremy shadow is lonely.i'll find you in my dreams.and now, darling, you're not dead,you're still singing in my head.i miss you.i need you.i love you.come back.
you were the poison i couldn't wait to drink.ten thousand facescould reflect in that broken mirrorhanging behind my door,but i'll only ever see yours.other namesmay rest upon my lips,though none of themcould taste like yours.i find it funnyin a tragic, pathetic waythat no matter who is speakingit is your voiceresonating in their throats.i could burn my fingertips,so that all sensations numb,but every time i trace my memoriesyour skin would still feel like a thousand flawlessfeathers.and i could give away my heartto the most ruthless hurricane,but even it's caresswould not cut melike yours.
ugly/beautya goddess taught me how to carvehighways into my arms, but she neversaid my blood would cease flowing. soi washed my veins with ink and lead,turned my sorrow inside out, and neverspoke to her again.
-and all these yearsit was in the wrong placeI did search for you,because heaven is not the only placewhere an angel can be found.
*and in that timewhen i shall die,wilt and float away,placed upon the pedestalfor judgement day,i hope god steps asideand let's you read my namefrom forth the golden pages.i cannot imaginea more beautiful sentenceto hell.
The MonstersThe Monsters don't hide under my bed. They never did.They saunter with pride under the sun and lurk in the dark.They don't have nor need fangs to bite into flesh,for their words sink into my skin until my eyes bleed tears.Their condescending laughter scathes my confidence as they tell me,that I'll never be good enough, that I'm not pretty, I'm stupid,that I'll never be somebody.Monsters don't have rough matted fur, or wear rags.With well combed hair and a wardrobe full of disguises,they wear everything from designer shoes and dresses,to combat boots to letterman jackets.All the while donning shiny plastic smiles, bubbly laughs,caked layers of makeup and a shield of charming lies,to cloak their rotten personality.Monsters still go after children.They hunt them in the halls, waiting for their chance.Looking for the right victim to step on, just to have a laugh.Climbing higher on their mountain of ego,piled with the bodies of broken spirits that weep rivers that run to t
of me and youthe day you stopped touching me was the day istopped speaking to myself. and the silence nearly killed me
Wake Up And Smell The Coffin(It's no wonder you're so blue,Holding your breath for four years.You can't be serious.)Maybe it was all just a bad dream.If it doesn't hurt when you open your eyes, then it wasn't real.And if it does, then I can't say I know exactly how you feel.What happens in Vegas might stay in your veinsBut you can hide it with your teeth if you need to.You know as well as I do.It's not my fault your world forgot how to spin.You know as well as I doYou don't know me as well as you try to.You don't know me at all.And I don't remember what happened in Vegas.I don't have the time, I never did, I never will.And I wish you could play more than one bloody song On that tiny violin.
WallsTell them all your secrets.They'll never tell a soul.They'll keep you standing upWhen your body's had its toll.Beat them in your anger.They'll never scream or cry.They'll let you vent your feelingsAnd never pester why.Hide within their safety.They'll keep you tucked away.They'll let in just enough lightFor you to know it's day.
NothingI heard someone sarcastically sputter,"You are what you eat."But hearing that sole sentenceallowed me to finally understandwhy I amwhat I am:Nothing.
You're that girlYou're that girl,You're 17 of age but your weight says you're 10.Refusing to eat even though you pretend.They see you lost weight once again,You sit here alone without any friend.You're that girl,You're putting on a smile; A fake one that is.You're depressed, hurt, and no longer give a shitYou want to live a happy life again, that is your wish.Yet only a hand full of minutes before you decide to quit.You're that girl,You're being chased, haunted and fear for your life.You chose the wrong path and made the wrong friends.You're sick of being threatened by a gun or a knife.You want to get rid of yourself because it all makes no sense.You're that girl,You're used, abused, your innocence has been taken."It's not his fault, you are to blame."Everyone says you're at fault, now you have been forsaken.You cry in the mirror and feel like such a shame.You're that girl,You don't get enough sleep.Sometimes you wish you could just leave.Trying to rest but nightmares come creep
Is it too much to ask?I don't understand what's wrong with me today.It feels like all my of friends have drifted too far away.I've tried to be strong and fix all I've wrongedBut nothing goes according to plan.And I just want to back up, stop and start over again.And these days are the loneliest of my life.It feels like something is wrong but everything seems alright.Are they trying to avoid me because of being me?The past is the past but I hope I'm not history...All I want is someone to talk and stay...with me.Is it too much to ask for a little time and company?
Stop Hurting, PleaseLet me take your burdens upon my own back.Remove your pack filled with painAnd let it instead stain my face.Wrap your arms around me in an embrace and watch your emotionWash over me like an ocean-leaving me rawSo that the pain that I saw is no longer yours.Instead it pours down like a stream,Down my throat where it becomes a scream that goes unheardSo that your pain remains curbed inside me.I, too, hurt, though I don’t wish you to see so instead I bleedOn paper so that the seed sown doesn’t sprout quite so painfully.When you smile it fills me wonderfully and I don’t feel quite so groundBy the sounds of sorrow.Though it hurts me, I’d rather have borrowed suicidal thoughtsSo you haven’t bought cuts down your wrists.It hurts like a cyst to hear you sobSo I daub emotion off the surface of my mindAnd grind it into ink just to be able to see how much of a fool I am.When I write, the ink has burst from its dam and I nearly drownEither pouring i
nothing caught beneath my wingsi was a bird when youwere just a little grainof rice forgotten on theshore, and i ate you up.devoured you, sucked themilky marrow from your core.but oh, how you filled allmy empty spaces, swelledand sprawled into my verybeing, until i was fitto burst and finally whole.
happy family.and it would make no differenceif these walls couldtalk,because even they know whento keep quiet.