i'm probably better off without it.in an effort to replacethe one you lost,you tore the heartfrom my sleeveand trapped it inyour chest.
X.your lovewas like the pills,they were bothsupposed to heal me.imagine the surpriseas they raceto determine which onekilled me.
to say i'm sorry is so cliche.and on your flawless face,in the hollows of your cheeks,i poured my every secretin the form of silver tears.
what words cannot describe.they say a pictureis worth a thousand words,but when i see your facetime-zones awaya million praisesrush to my lips.and yet when you're standingright before mewith those pale eyes glowingmy throat is lockedand i am speechless,because "beautiful"is so vaguecompared to you.
meadows.you only ever picked dead flowersbecause you wanted to leave the living onesfor others to admire...i guess that's why you chose meover everyone else.
hushed.i'd tell you allthat's wrong,but I'm scared you'ddrown.
rain.i still have buckets in my roomfrom when you poured your heart out.plastic pails full of pain and loveand lust and tears and names and smiles.i don't know why i keep them...maybe i hope one day you'll come backto claim them.or when i'm being really dumbi let myself hope that you'll come back anywayfor me.
cigarette boxes.you were once my addiction,the force i would so gladlydie from.then they took you away,to the hospital,and now you've changed.your eyes are distantyour voice is empty,there's nothing leftto breathe in.
how to love a boy who is lost.falllike you're jumping from a cliffinto a thrashing sea whose waters you cannot tread,dive into their depths and fill your lungs with waves.just don't close your eyes,because you have to search for him.feel your weight drag you to the bottom,feel the ocean embrace youand don't be afraid of that pounding in your chest.each heartbeat is sonara signal calling him and his calling you.learn to swim nowif you drown you cannot save him.swim to the fallen cities,the submerged castlesand maritime gardens.there you'll find him,lost in thought and studying the fish.i hope you saved some oxygenso you can breathe during the kiss.
strong, held the seashorelet yourworld crumbleand then collectevery grain of sandto buildnew castles
Flawed Canvas.Your lipsleft watercolorstainsall across my heart.My blood isn't evencrimson anymore,its a pale and dyinglilacthat bleeds onto the floorand paints a pictureof you.
where do you fall when you fall in love?i see my voice curl toward the sky in crystal breathsas i stand beneath the stars and ask the gods"where do you fall when you fall in love?"and in the distant thunder roars as zeus clears his throat.lightening strikes to start a fireand in anticipation i sit by the flames as he begins his story."love," he says, "is the beautiful medicationthat we drink to still our pain,but often it is overdosedand we always end up crashinglike a star falling from my sky."as i watch the shadows dance about his faceaphrodite proudly walks to uswith her golden grace and emerald eyes."there's a kingdom," she says with ivory verse, "just below the seaand it awaits young lovers therewhere they drown for all eternity."at the mention of the sea, poseidon falls down to usfrom his chariot atop the cliff and in his booming voice he declares;"and in that cavern the butterflies are drenchedand with heavy wings they cannot flyso they suffocate the lovers."with the quietest gait of a clumsy fox
i feel like this can't be titled.i filled my veinswith that rain that smells like you.vacate my lungsand put the oxygen back,i'm tired of drowningin your watercolor paints.my lips suffocate beneath yours,but that's okayi never liked mineanyway.my hand feels emptywithout yours;my heart feels distantwith yours.i don't know what you mean,not anymore,not even when you speak.i'm sorry you never got the chanceto hurt me,because i always hurt myself,but if you come backyou'll have another chance.is this the partwhere you say you're sorry,even if you aren't?
june 1st: an anniversaryweary nights whisper bitterlythe dying echoes of an ambulance's cry,phones buzzing and hospital lights,memories that i don't want...this day that shouldn't be.i kept each tearyour heavenly eyes shedand compiled them togetherinto an ocean;i'm ready to drown.the breaths we sharedand the oxygen you poured into my lungsi used to fashion this summer breezethat tear daisies apart;maybe it'll break me like the petals.there are freckles on my arms,trailblazers of your fingertips,touches long left feltand now with vacant longing;can a broken heart kill me?there's a hollow space in my bedan impression shaped like you're bodyand without you heremy shadow is lonely.i'll find you in my dreams.and now, darling, you're not dead,you're still singing in my head.i miss you.i need you.i love you.come back.
you were the poison i couldn't wait to drink.ten thousand facescould reflect in that broken mirrorhanging behind my door,but i'll only ever see yours.other namesmay rest upon my lips,though none of themcould taste like yours.i find it funnyin a tragic, pathetic waythat no matter who is speakingit is your voiceresonating in their throats.i could burn my fingertips,so that all sensations numb,but every time i trace my memoriesyour skin would still feel like a thousand flawlessfeathers.and i could give away my heartto the most ruthless hurricane,but even it's caresswould not cut melike yours.
ugly/beautya goddess taught me how to carvehighways into my arms, but she neversaid my blood would cease flowing. soi washed my veins with ink and lead,turned my sorrow inside out, and neverspoke to her again.
stupid youth.my lungs whispered and asked the smoketo danceto the sound of your slurred voicesinging off keyto whatever song came on the radio.i'm sure the stars looked down on usin amusementas we laughed and ran about that dying meadowin the ides of october.there's something bordering on nostalgiai feel for that scuffed leather jacketyou always wear.but maybe it's just dreaming.and when we finally started back homewe could have diedand for once in our livesit would have been with smiles on our faces.i wonder what the coroner would havethought.
epitaphs don't count as love letters.he said my eyesgasped like a dying breathand he wasn't going to wait aroundfor the funeral.
The MonstersThe Monsters don't hide under my bed. They never did.They saunter with pride under the sun and lurk in the dark.They don't have nor need fangs to bite into flesh,for their words sink into my skin until my eyes bleed tears.Their condescending laughter scathes my confidence as they tell me,that I'll never be good enough, that I'm not pretty, I'm stupid,that I'll never be somebody.Monsters don't have rough matted fur, or wear rags.With well combed hair and a wardrobe full of disguises,they wear everything from designer shoes and dresses,to combat boots to letterman jackets.All the while donning shiny plastic smiles, bubbly laughs,caked layers of makeup and a shield of charming lies,to cloak their rotten personality.Monsters still go after children.They hunt them in the halls, waiting for their chance.Looking for the right victim to step on, just to have a laugh.Climbing higher on their mountain of ego,piled with the bodies of broken spirits that weep rivers that run to t
Is it too much to ask?I don't understand what's wrong with me today.It feels like all my of friends have drifted too far away.I've tried to be strong and fix all I've wrongedBut nothing goes according to plan.And I just want to back up, stop and start over again.And these days are the loneliest of my life.It feels like something is wrong but everything seems alright.Are they trying to avoid me because of being me?The past is the past but I hope I'm not history...All I want is someone to talk and stay...with me.Is it too much to ask for a little time and company?
of me and youthe day you stopped touching me was the day istopped speaking to myself. and the silence nearly killed me
Wake Up And Smell The Coffin(It's no wonder you're so blue,Holding your breath for four years.You can't be serious.)Maybe it was all just a bad dream.If it doesn't hurt when you open your eyes, then it wasn't real.And if it does, then I can't say I know exactly how you feel.What happens in Vegas might stay in your veinsBut you can hide it with your teeth if you need to.You know as well as I do.It's not my fault your world forgot how to spin.You know as well as I doYou don't know me as well as you try to.You don't know me at all.And I don't remember what happened in Vegas.I don't have the time, I never did, I never will.And I wish you could play more than one bloody song On that tiny violin.
WallsTell them all your secrets.They'll never tell a soul.They'll keep you standing upWhen your body's had its toll.Beat them in your anger.They'll never scream or cry.They'll let you vent your feelingsAnd never pester why.Hide within their safety.They'll keep you tucked away.They'll let in just enough lightFor you to know it's day.
pretty liesyou're not lost,you're just wanting to be found,you're sad and lonely.you're not rotten,you're fertile soil.you're not hollow,you're a shelter,an unoccupied nest,an empty housewaiting for a tenant.you're not an abyss,you sense light,you're ready to migrate.
You're that girlYou're that girl,You're 17 of age but your weight says you're 10.Refusing to eat even though you pretend.They see you lost weight once again,You sit here alone without any friend.You're that girl,You're putting on a smile; A fake one that is.You're depressed, hurt, and no longer give a shitYou want to live a happy life again, that is your wish.Yet only a hand full of minutes before you decide to quit.You're that girl,You're being chased, haunted and fear for your life.You chose the wrong path and made the wrong friends.You're sick of being threatened by a gun or a knife.You want to get rid of yourself because it all makes no sense.You're that girl,You're used, abused, your innocence has been taken."It's not his fault, you are to blame."Everyone says you're at fault, now you have been forsaken.You cry in the mirror and feel like such a shame.You're that girl,You don't get enough sleep.Sometimes you wish you could just leave.Trying to rest but nightmares come creep
I Loved A GirlI loved a girl – she smelled like August melancholy,sweeter still,she carried the scent of festival emotions,tempered by the midnight flamesand fireflies' glow.I loved a girl – her hair, the gentle hue of embers,reflected dancing candlelight,while in her eyes, as brown as mahogany,I discovered tiny galaxies,but most importantly – I saw my smile.I loved a girl – I sensed her heartbeat,playing to the rhythm of my breath.Her every word,imprinted tender cherry blossoms,onto my soul.I loved a girl – her lips tasted like morning aircool against my heavy forehead,her skin, softer than satin threads,played games with the waning moonbeams -its gravity, I could not resist, like the Sun,cannot escape the zenith, on Summer solstice.I loved a girl – she made me happy,and sadly - I love her still.
nothing caught beneath my wingsi was a bird when youwere just a little grainof rice forgotten on theshore, and i ate you up.devoured you, sucked themilky marrow from your core.but oh, how you filled allmy empty spaces, swelledand sprawled into my verybeing, until i was fitto burst and finally whole.
happy family.and it would make no differenceif these walls couldtalk,because even they know whento keep quiet.