infinite.i taped a picture of your eyesto my windowso that even if it's cloudyor middayi can still seethe stars.
he's good for you.i wish i could beas happy formyselfas i am foryou.
don't buy roses.you made me feellike deathin a good way,like i was terminaland you were the only thingthat could make me feelbetter.
1.30.16i wish i had taken the timeto learn your nameso that i could write itin my journalor in a poembecause you look similar to himor at least you didlast nightafter vodka and bad decisionsand that's all i neededor i guess i actually needed a lot morethan thatbut that's really all i wanted,so maybe if i knew your namei'd feel less guiltybut you never learned mine eitherso now i can't help but wonderwho you were pretending i waswhile i pretended you weresomeone else,a name i know,a name that burns in my chestand incinerates my soul;soon i'll be nothing but ashand forgotten whispersof an unfortunate,potential lover.
elijah.he's the dreamsi want to have at nightbut instead i'm lying awakeat the bottom of my empty bathtubthinking about the type of boyshe'd write poems aboutif he was meand i were him,would i get a lineor thought?i like it when he laughsbecause it reminds me that not all musichas to be sadto be beautifulbut it still makes my heart sorebecause every time he smilesi fall just a bit more.he comes to my apartmentat any odd or even hourbecause he thinks i might be sadbecause he reads the poems and linesi write in my journalduring class,and he thinks it's his jobto make me laugh.we connected so easilyand i feel like i've been loving himfor yearsinstead of months, but i guess feeling paindoesn't require as much timeas healing it.for hours we talk during moviesand i tell him anything that crosses my mindexcept how i feelabout him;i don't think he'd mindbut i mightbecause i know he won't feelthe same.
carefully.you rented my heartfor a nightor at least that was theplan;i think it inconvenienced us bothwhen i fell in lovewith youbecause you had a home somewhereelseand only needed a place to crashfor a nightbecause it was too dangerousfor you to drive homein the storm.
is this what forever feels like?goldcan't rust,but the paintis chipping.
i can't remember friday. i don't remember youthe way i'd liketo;i remember youthe way you were,and i feel even morepathetic.
these moments saved me.i like it when heholds meclose against his chestand rests his faceagainst my headas i read aloud my favorite poemsand the rain falls downoutsideand the ashes build upinside my coffee mugfrom the cigarettesi don't need to finishbecause my hands only shakewhen i'malone.
DownfallAnd in this dark harvest of seasonMy life has completely lost reason,For which or against to decide.All lost in a savage and endless, bleak tideIn sadness and in kindnessIn light and in darkness.In a boat made of hopeI shall sail to tomorrow,In a winding hurricaneMade of treachery and sorrow.There's a spear, endless, and colossal spear...Piercing, slashing though my head.Starting somewhere in heaven,Ending somewhere in hell.Fighting, burning, crying, crashing.Are the armies within.In my head they are all thrashing.On the heaven's and hell's whim.To be light or to be darkness.A perpetual array.It's not merely my choice,But the choice of the way.It's an option of the voice,It's a thin line of gray.Is it a choice forced by fate,Is it a pre-set time and date?Or a choice to which I myself sway?But here's our story anyway
."Nothing that I do will matter.As all things will merely shatter!"All my hopes thus darkness scatter,As it shoves me a decree.As it si
Is It Love?If I hugged you,would you never let go?If I kissed you,would you cherish that moment?If I reached for your hand,would you take mine gently?If I needed a shoulder,would you let me cry on yours?If I needed to talk,would you really listen?If I needed to scream,would you do it with me?If I needed to go,would you come with me?If I fell for you,would you catch me?or just let me hit the pavement?
my grand piano the winds are howling but I'll stay here and play my grand piano; the frost gathers on the panes and the cold edges into my marrow but I will stay here and continue to play my grand piano - and when the sheet music is done and the snow has drifted against my door
You Selfish BastardDrink the poisonand pretend as ifyou aren't slowly killing yourself.But that is your intentionand you've dedicated your lifeto this self-destructive path.Married to addictionand divorced from self-control,you're willing to let your body dieand force your loved ones to watchjust so you can havea night of numbness.Your death isn't going to shock anyoneif you keep down this road.
CultistOne day, we’ll worship rustand marvel how it claimedthe world of industrious metal,leaving nothing but slowingreddening struts, half-heartedangles reaching outward.We’ll dive into the wreckslooking for half-sparking wondersthat, when properly restored, gleaminto sputtering song or splittingpictures of different worldsand the faces of old Gods.
Wasted FleshFlesh, flesh,Such wasted flesh...This able-bodied meat.Defiled by drugs and impurities.A mind born with clarity,Yet so blatantly abused.No harm did you suffer;Other than harm self inflicted.Disregarding the hopeless gazes,Of those who were born without.No good, no good;This I cannot abide...I shall take this flesh from you,And it shall be tended and made anew.A gift to those who are deserving,Of the very gifts you cast aside...Now then, my dear,Do stop your screaming.It will only be painful,Until your heart stops beating.- Word of Chen, 1/6/2016
Snow Angels.Wings spreadWideAll ready toFlyBut you can never reach theSky.Your soul isFrozenMade ofIceYou are anAngelChained to theGround.